Jen LancasterI can't believe anyone would voluntarily run 26 miles. Sometimes I sit on the couch cross-legged because I don't feel like walking to the bathroom.371Time
Jen LancasterThe best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously.361Death
Jen LancasterI still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2007). Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Gir… ▶331Hope
Jen LancasterAs I examine my life through this book, I can't help but wonder if my mother was right. Maybe I really was what I ate. And maybe if she'd let me eat a little more sugar, I'd have … ▶375LifeReading
Jen LancasterWhen I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup remover and a cotton pad? I'm not taking them off. Why … ▶376Death
Jen LancasterThe best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously. Do I miss the package I came in at 25? I do. Gravity is no one's friend. Yet the perspective I've gained is so wor… ▶366Humor
Jen LancasterAmen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about … ▶356LifeLove
Jen LancasterQuinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and cats with a taste for homicide are pit… ▶323Reading
Jen LancasterThis is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get my period. ✨ Jen Lancaste… ▶334Life
Jen LancasterI yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2007). Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly… ▶378Hope
Jen LancasterFor the record? I have never been her baby. In fact, I reject the notion of coming out of her body. I prefer to believe I was hatched, or perhaps purchased. ✨ Jen Lancaster … ▶378LifeTruth
Jen LancasterI’m busy sorting through our new collection of rhinestone jewelry. Should anyone be in the market for sparkly accessories the size of a hubcap, this is the place to get them. Earl… ▶281Reflection
Jen LancasterI don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim) are proof that Jesus loves us.358Love
Jen LancasterFletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items is his job because I kind of don't lik… ▶271Reflection
Jen LancasterSeriously, our nation is never going to be on the same page on issues like gun control, welfare, the economy, the environment, etc. I doubt we'll ever come to terms on tastes grea… ▶326ReadingThought
Jen LancasterWhen did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations? ✨ Jen Lancaster (2007). Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indul… ▶3510Hope
Jen LancasterAs a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said views do nothing to advance the narrative.317PoliticsReading
Jen LancasterNo matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2012). Jeneration X: One Reluctant Adult's… ▶251Humanity
Jen LancasterOver the summer we chatted one night while Angie stripped a bed, changed wet sheets, comforted and repajamaed a toddler, and chased down a car of speeding teenagers while shaking … ▶284Love
Jen LancasterWere I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2013). Here I Go Again: A Novel, p.87, Penguin295Reading
Jen LancasterYou think you're so cool just because you can walk!274Thought
Jen LancasterI think people tend to be very myopic and they dont understand how their actions impact others.241HumanityThought
Jen LancasterPoint? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2009). Pretty in Plaid: A Life, A Witch, and a Wardrobe, … ▶286Life
Jen LancasterAlthough I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time… ▶254Time
Jen LancasterI would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2013). The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Gett… ▶234Life
Jen LancasterSome people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2008). Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes H… ▶2710HumanityLifeThought
Jen LancasterDespite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a tiny flaw so as to not affront the Lord. ✨ Jen Lancaste… ▶171Politics
Jen LancasterI'm not lazy. I'm simply judicious about excess movement. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2008). Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest To Discover if Her Life Makes Her Ass Look Big, O… ▶216Life
Jen LancasterYou know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2008). Such a Pretty Fat: One Nar… ▶206LifeThought
Jen LancasterAmbien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2010). My Fair Lazy: One Reality Television Addict's Attempt to Discover If Not Being A Dumb… ▶2310Truth
