I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out …

Jen Lancaster
36 citations
I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2013). The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog, p.21, Penguin
Life
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Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2013). Here I Go Again: A Novel, p.87, Penguin
Point? Maybe you aren't a Carrie or a Samantha or a Charlotte or a Miranda. Maybe you're just you. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2009). Pretty in Plaid: A Life, A Witch, and a Wardrobe, or, the Wonder Years Befor … ▶
I don't mean to get all religious here, but I'm pretty sure key lime martinis (with a graham cracker & sugar rim) are proof that Jesus loves us.
I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2007). Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority Girl's Guide to Why it Often … ▶
The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously. Do I miss the package I came in at 25? I do. Gravity is no one's friend. Yet the perspective I've gained is so worth the wear and tear … ▶

I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve. ✨ Jen Lancaster (2013). The Tao of Martha: My Year of LIVING; Or, Why I'm Never Getting All That Glitter Off of the Dog, p.21, Penguin

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