When I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup remover and a cotton pad? I'm not taking them off. Why not? I spent $180 on that makeup job and I refuse to wash my face until I get my money's worth. β¨ Jen Lancaster (2006). Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of a Condescending, Egomaniacal, Self-Centered Smartass, Or, Why You Should Never Carry A Prada Bag to the Unemployment Office, p.208, Penguin
More Author Quotes
- When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations? β¨ Jen Lancaster (2007). Bright Lights, Big Ass: A Self-Indulgent, Surly, Ex-Sorority G β¦ βΆ
- Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a tiny flaw so as to not affront the Lord. β¨ Jen Lancaster (2006). Bitter is the Ne β¦ βΆ
- Quinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and cats with a taste for homicide are pithy and uproarious an β¦ βΆ
- Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper. β¨ Jen Lancaster (2012). Jeneration X: One Reluctant Adult's Attempt to Unarrest Her Arrested Developme β¦ βΆ
- Amen,' I exclaim, accidentally spitting out a Raisinet. I pick up the chocolate with a Kleenex and stuff it in my purse. Ten bucks says a month from now I'll have forgotten about it and will finally β¦ βΆ
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