Because of some defect in my motor skill, I can never COMPLETELY wrap [gifts]....If I had been an ancient Egyptian in the field of mummies, the lower half of the Pharaoh's body would be covered only by scotch tape.
More Author Quotes
- Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it. β¨ Dave Barry (1997). Dave Barry in Cyberspace, Ballantine Books
- I become faint and nauseous during even very minor medical procedures, such as making an appointment by phone. β¨ Dave Barry (2010). I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood, β¦ βΆ
- For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first explain that . . . β¨ Dave Barry (2010). Dave Barry's Greatest Hits, p.4, Ballantine Books
- During the warm season (August 8 and 9), Maine is a true vacation paradise, offering visitors a chance to jump into crystal-clear mountain lakes and see if they can get back out again before their bo β¦ βΆ
- Aside from velcro, time is the most mysterious substance in the universe. You can't see it or touch it, yet a plumber can charge you upwards of seventy-five dollars per hour for it, without necessari β¦ βΆ
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