Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you…

Dave Barry
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Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it. ✨ Dave Barry (1997). Dave Barry in Cyberspace, Ballantine Books
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Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. ✨ Dave Barry (2009). Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus, p.104, Ballantine Books
If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would have made them cute and furry. ✨ Dave Barry (2010). Dave Barry's Greatest Hits, p.285, Ballantine Books
The trouble is, you cannot grow just one zucchini. Minutes after you plant a single seed, hundreds of zucchini will barge out of the ground and sprawl around the garden, menacing the other vegetables … ▶
Unlike cats dogs never scratch you when you wash them. They just become very sad and try to figure out what they did wrong.

Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it. ✨ Dave Barry (1997). Dave Barry in Cyberspace, Ballantine Books

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