What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an o…

David Sedaris
191 citations
What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was damned if I could find it. ✨ David Sedaris (2010). Naked, p.15, Hachette UK
Thought
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Right, I breast feed baby camels in my backyard just for the freaking fun of it. Just tell me where you live, Pinocchio, and save the baloney for lunch. ✨ David Sedaris (2010). Naked, p.94, Hachette … ▶
I find it ridiculous to assign a gender to an inanimate object incapable of disrobing and making an occasional fool of itself. ✨ David Sedaris (2000). Me talk pretty one day
The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention
It is funny the things that run through your mind when you're sitting in your underpants in front of a pair of strangers. ✨ David Sedaris (2010). When You Are Engulfed In Flames, p.74, Hachette UK
High school taught me a valuable lesson about glasses: Don't wear them. Contacts have always seemed like too much work, so instead I just squint, figuring that if something is more than ten feet away … ▶

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