I come from a very big family. Nine parents. ✨ Profile: Jim and Jeanni…

Jim Gaffigan
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I come from a very big family. Nine parents. ✨ Profile: Jim and Jeannie Gaffigan. Interview with Philip David Morton, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 30, 2015.
Humanity
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One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied. ✨ FaceBook post byJim Gaffigan from Jul 01, 2013
But truly, women are amazing. Think about it this way: a woman can grow a baby inside her body. Then a woman can deliver the baby through her body. Then, by some miracle, a woman can feed a baby with … ▶
Lean Pockets, I don't even wanna know what's in those. I wonder what the directions are on a box of Lean Pockets: 'Remove from box, place directly in toilet.' Flush Pocket!
You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside.
Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next d … ▶

I come from a very big family. Nine parents. ✨ Profile: Jim and Jeannie Gaffigan. Interview with Philip David Morton, www.huffingtonpost.com. November 30, 2015.

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