Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to …

Jim Gaffigan
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Babies should be classified as an antidepressant. It's pretty hard to be in a bad mood around a 5-month-old baby.
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My new years resolution? I will be less laz. ✨ FaceBook post byJim Gaffigan from Jan 01, 2013
Once you put bacon into a salad it's no longer a salad, it just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce. It's like you're panning for gold, hmmmmm, EUREKA! ✨ Jim Gaffigan: King Baby, 2009.
There were times in my life when I had one thing to do all day, but I still couldn’t get to it. “I gotta go to the post office, but I’d probably have to put on pants. And they’re only open till five. … ▶
I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.
Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like an applause. ✨ Jim Gaffigan: King Baby, 2009.

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