I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when …

Dave Barry
358 citations
I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: “How can I get in on that?
Hope Humanity
23

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Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it. ✨ Dave Barry (1997). Dave Barry in Cyberspace, Ballantine Books
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. ✨ Problems Of Utmost Gravity by Dave Barry, articles.chicagotribune.com. March 15, 1998.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'. ✨ Dave Barry (2010). Dave Barry's Greatest Hits, p.171, Ballantine B … ▶
2. The instant the doors open, you want to push forward as hard as possible, in an effort to get onto the train without letting anybody off. This is very important. If anybody does get off, it is leg … ▶

I hope I don't sound like an old-fashioned stick-in-the-mud, but when I hear about people making vast fortunes without doing any productive work or contributing anything to society, my reaction is: “How can I get in on that?

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