I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't... Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself. ✨ You Are All Diseased. Book by George Carlin, 1999.
More Author Quotes
- Cloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view. ✨ George Carlin (1998). Brain Droppings, Hyperion
- So I live in Los Angeles, and it's kind of a goofy place. They have an airport named after John Wayne. That ought to explain it. It has a charming kind of superstitious innocence. ✨ George Carlin (19 … ▶
- I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking. ✨ George Carlin (2009). Last Words, p.10, Simon and Schuster
- Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
- When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
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