Lewis BlackYou're on Facebook, and these people seem to have endless lives. I don't have time to live my life, let alone tell you what I'm doing, or post a photo.372HumanityLifeReading
Lewis BlackI've always really liked theater. It fascinated me. You can create a reality and get people involved in that reality. It takes place in real time. ✨ Lewis Black on politics,… ▶361HumanityPoliticsTime
Lewis BlackYou got to be just stupid to not be focused on alternative energy.373Life
Lewis BlackI was broke until I was 40. Really broke. I could get by, but I had nothing. ✨ Lewis Black on politics, aging, and being the guy who yells. Interview with Drew Fortune, www.… ▶373Politics
Lewis BlackRepublicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas.341Thought
Lewis BlackIf it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college. ✨ The White Album. 2000.353Love
Lewis BlackWriting is thinking and thinking is hard work.321Thought
Lewis BlackIf the people of New Zealand want to be part of our world, I believe they should hop off their islands, and push 'em closer.365Humanity
Lewis BlackIt's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it!365Sadness
Lewis BlackValentine's Day: the holiday that reminds you that if you don't have a special someone, you're alone.333Thought
Lewis BlackThe whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year. Unbelievable. And we find it acceptable. ✨ Lewis Bla… ▶344Love
Lewis BlackOne of the most important things, especially when you're leaving school, is to realize you're going to be dealing with a lot of idiots. And a lot of those idiots are in charge of … ▶377Life
Lewis BlackMy father worked at the Naval Ordnance Lab, and they had a nine-hole course on the property. You paid a quarter.333Philosophy
Lewis BlackIf we're not going to tax the rich anymore, we're going to create class warfare.355Hope
Lewis BlackOnline, there's no time. It's always Christmas. ✨ Interview with Ben Munson, www.avclub.com. October 3, 2011.366Time
Lewis BlackI believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the summer. They can start talking again after Labor Day. … ▶322HumanityPoliticsTime
Lewis BlackGlenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than th… ▶322Thought
Lewis BlackYou are an adult, and you can dress up whenever you want to. You don't need permission anymore! If you wake up next tuesday, and you feel like being Batman, go for it! And then yo… ▶366Humor
Lewis BlackWhen people come to my act any time after Thanksgiving, I usually say, You shouldn't be here. You should be shopping. Our economy depends on you! You should be out there buying st… ▶312HumanityTime
Lewis BlackIf you yell about one woman, you're not a misogynist. If I yell about Michelle Bachman, that doesn't make me a misogynist. If I compare all women to Michelle Bachman, then I'm a m… ▶312Life
Lewis BlackThese people [the Christians] watched the Flintstones as if it were a documentary.291Humanity
Lewis BlackAs psychotic as it gets outside, the comic can be more psychotic.302Reflection
Lewis BlackYou want to know what it's like to be on a plane for 22 hours? Sit in a chair, squeeze your head as hard as you can, don't stop, then take a paper bag and put it over your mouth a… ▶347Reflection
Lewis BlackWhat I've found in my career is that 70 to 75 percent of comics are nice and have some sense of social skills, but there are those who end up in comedy because they don't know how… ▶3710Humor
Lewis BlackI do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast. ✨ Interview with Amel… ▶347Humanity
Lewis BlackNobody in college races home and says, 'I can't wait to see the news! I can't wait to see who CBS is going to hire!' ✨ Interview with Amelie Gillette, tv.avclub.com. June 7,… ▶347Death
Lewis BlackI watch some CNN and a lot of Fox, because it helps me get irritated. ✨ Lewis Black finds no shortage of stupidity. Interview with Steven Winn, www.sfgate.com. June 24, 2009… ▶369Love
Lewis BlackHarry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy.292Humor
Lewis BlackEverybody's got cable. ✨ Interview with Amelie Gillette, www.avclub.com. June 7, 2006.314Life
Lewis BlackThe only thing dumber than a Democrat or a Republican is when those pricks work together. You see, in our two-party system, the Democrats are the party of no ideas and the Republi… ▶3710Thought
