Andy BorowitzOther countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.371Thought
Andy BorowitzChristmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.351Love
Andy BorowitzIf its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Sep 21, 2011373LifeReading
Andy BorowitzLet's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Sep 18, 2012374Reading
Andy BorowitzThe hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.374Life
Andy BorowitzLet's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from May 02, 2012375Reading
Andy BorowitzCall me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Jun 28, 2012342ReadingThought
Andy BorowitzRemember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.366Life
Andy BorowitzThe baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Dec 13, 2012311Reading
Andy BorowitzThanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Aug 31, 2011378HumanityReading
Andy BorowitzAnn Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.' ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Apr 14, 20123710Reading
Andy BorowitzWeirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.3610Humanity
Andy BorowitzNow that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Feb 11, 2012262ReadingThought
Andy BorowitzThe Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamp… ▶241HumanityPolitics
Andy BorowitzA race between Perry and Christie would test whether Americans would rather be executed or eaten. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Sep 28, 2011296Reading
Andy BorowitzSarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Oct 05, 2011285Reading
Andy BorowitzCongress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Apr 18, 2012274Reading
Andy BorowitzAs we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Jul… ▶3210Reading
Andy BorowitzAll Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Jul 25, 2012231Reading
Andy BorowitzFacebook's new relationship status option: No longer able to interact with actual people ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Dec 18, 2011277HumanityReading
Andy BorowitzYou can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.234Time
Andy BorowitzAs popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Dec 23, 2011267Reading
Andy BorowitzIf you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them268Humanity
Andy BorowitzChristmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.202Sadness
Andy BorowitzChristmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Nov 27, 2012268Reading
Andy BorowitzIt used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Feb 25, 2012192HumanityReadingSadness
Andy BorowitzIt would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Jul 09, 2012<… ▶171PoliticsReading
Andy BorowitzMichele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Aug 29, 2011248ReadingTruth
Andy BorowitzWe invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Mar 11, 2012216Reading
Andy BorowitzXmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a religious meaning. ✨ FaceBook post byAndy Borowitz from Dec 23, 2012229PhilosophyReading
