I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.

George Carlin
484 citations
I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.
Truth
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The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going. ✨ George Carlin (2007). The Best of Brain Droppings, p.55, Peter Pauper Press, Inc.
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. ✨ George Carlin (2015). 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring … ▶
If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor. ✨ George Carlin (2002). Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion
[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels fr … ▶
No, there's no God, but there might be some sort of an organizing intelligence, and I think to understand it is way beyond our ability. It's certainly not a judgmental entity. It's certainly not pate … ▶

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