Brian P. ClearyWhen a kid says smell my hand, it almost never smells like cinnamon.373Thought
Brian P. ClearyOur cat is kind dove shellfish, and thinks the world is hers, She finds a comfy spot and then we pet turtle sheep purrs.374Thought
Brian P. ClearyI like all things grammatical, and I had already written several books about parts of speech, and even the alphabet, so everything that makes up a sentence and even a word was cov… ▶344Reading
Brian P. ClearyAny cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.303Death
Brian P. ClearyThere’s no such thing as free kittens.369Time
Brian P. ClearyIf a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still displ… ▶282Reading
Brian P. ClearyA good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.241Life
Brian P. ClearyWhen a kid can understand that a word can mean two things, there's some real thinking going on. They have a vested interest in finding out what a word means, because it's the punc… ▶307HumorThought
Brian P. ClearyWhatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, and then everything burst into flames.275Humanity
Brian P. ClearyI love the semicolon; it's unnecessary, but graceful and sophisticated.3010Love
Brian P. ClearyChildren are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.201Humanity
Brian P. ClearyIf I have a talent for making some fourth-grader who hates school and reading to hate it a little less, then I have to do the most with what I've been issued.181Reading
Brian P. ClearyNot only is love blind, it’s a little hard of hearing.248Love
Brian P. ClearyYou want a story? Read 'Gone With the Wind'. These aren't stories. They're joke books. The whole thing of a beginning, a middle and an end has been done to death.204DeathHumorReading
Brian P. ClearyIt’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).172Life
Brian P. ClearyIn writing I found something I could do at least as well as my peers, if not better.179Reading
Brian P. ClearyKids enjoy laughing and are seldom bored when they find something funny. They also ask questions, often to adults, because they understand that the more words they can comprehend … ▶1310Humor
