If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doe…

George Carlin
484 citations
If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work. ✨ George Carlin (1998). Brain Droppings, Hyperion
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By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. ✨ George Carlin (2002). Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion
I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy. ✨ George Carlin (1998). Brain Droppings, Hyperion
Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [ … ▶
To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless ta … ▶
I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck.

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