You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
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- My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn. β¨ Joan Rivers dies: Celebrate comedian's life with her 80 bitchiest putdowns and funniest one-liners by Steve Anglesey a β¦ βΆ
- I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.
- The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.
- I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
- I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to tell him: That was a joke! But he just didn't get β¦ βΆ
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