I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help…

George Carlin
484 citations
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Reading
19

More Author Quotes

I'll bet there aren't too many people hooked on crack who can play the bagpipes. ✨ George Carlin (1998). Brain Droppings, Hyperion
I didn't wash today. I wasn't dirty. If I'm not dirty, I don't wash. Some weeks I don't have to shower at all. I just groom my three basic areas: teeth, hair, and asshole. And to save time, I use the … ▶
Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people t … ▶
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he … ▶
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, Get this asshole outta here! ✨ George Carlin (2002). Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

More Author Quotes

Most Cited Authors

The Best Quotes

Most Liked Authors

Curated Author Quotes