Woody AllenDon't think of death as an ending. Think of it as a really effective way of cutting down your expenses.371DeathThought
Woody AllenHaving sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.372Reading
Woody AllenMy mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention.372Time
Woody AllenI'm awash in self-contempt! ✨ Fictional character: Lee Simon. Celebrity, www.imdb.com. 1998.372Humanity
Woody AllenGauguin flew into a frenzy! He held my head under the X-ray machine for ten straight minutes and for several hours after I could not blink my eyes in unison. — If The Impressionis… ▶361Humanity
Woody AllenMost of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. ✨ Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor by Bill Adler and Jeffrey Feinman, (p… ▶372HumorTime
Woody AllenI hope you're getting this down. ✨ Love and Death, www.imdb.com. 1975.361DeathHopeLove
Woody AllenI said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half … ▶351Politics
Woody AllenI foresee death by culture shock.373Death
Woody AllenShow business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls.341Reading
Woody AllenWhen we lose twenty pounds... we may be losing the twenty best pounds we have! We may be losing the pounds that contain our genius, our humanity, our love and honesty. ✨ Woo… ▶363HumanityLoveTruth
Woody AllenI was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the… ▶363HumorTruth
Woody AllenThe best an idea gets is when its in your head.374Thought
Woody AllenSome guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.341Humor
Woody AllenThe only love that lasts is unrequited love. ✨ Fictional character: Prostitute. Shadows and Fog, www.imdb.com. 1991.341Love
Woody AllenIt's very hard to keep your spirits up. You've got to keep selling yourself a bill of goods, and some people are better at lying to themselves than others. If you face reality too… ▶342HumanityTruth
Woody AllenYou will notice that what we are aiming at when we fall in love is a very strange paradox. The paradox consists of the fact that, when we fall in love, we are seeking to re-find a… ▶375HumanityLoveTime
Woody AllenIf my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. ✨ Woody Allen, Robert E. Kapsis, Kathie Coblentz (2006). Woody Allen: Interviews, p.44, Univ. Press… ▶331Life
Woody AllenTime is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.imdb.com.353Time
Woody AllenIn my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.331Thought
Woody AllenI was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife342Death
Woody AllenShowing up is 80 percent of life. ✨ Quoted in N.Y. Times, 21 Aug. 1977364LifeTime
Woody AllenDon't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here. 321ThoughtTime
Woody AllenPlease forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging. ✨ Bullets Over Broadway, www.imdb.co… ▶376Reading
Woody AllenI've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.332Humor
Woody AllenShe wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. ✨ Woody Allen (2007). The Insanity Defense: … ▶376Death
Woody AllenMy luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. ✨ The Good Luck Book. Book by Stefan Bechtel, Laurence Roy Stains (p. 371), 1997.343Reading
Woody AllenHe was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.365Reflection
Woody AllenWhen we played softball, I'd steal second base, feel guilty and go back.376Truth
Woody AllenI don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. ✨ Quoted in Eric Lax, Woody Allen and His Comedy (1975)332DeathHumor
