Red SkeltonYou know how to tell when you're getting old? When your broad mind changes places with your narrow waist.372Thought
Red SkeltonIf I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God. ✨ Personal Quotes/ Biography. www.imdb.com.351Humanity
Red SkeltonAll men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. ✨ Personal Quotes/ Biography. www.imdb.com.342Love
Red SkeltonShe has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down! So I bought her an electric chair.353Reading
Red SkeltonI only come to life when there are people watching.325HumanityLife
Red SkeltonI left home because I was hungry.347Sadness
Red SkeltonI'd have avoided some of the pain if I could. Anyone would. But I wouldn't have missed knowing any of the people-even the ones whose leaving hurt most. In fact, the only thing I'm… ▶272HumanitySadnessTruth
Red SkeltonPeople think I am dead because they haven’t seen me around for awhile. I’m not dead, I’m very much alive, as you can see. Although, there are two things I do before I get up every… ▶316DeathHumanityLife
Red SkeltonOur principles are the springs of our actions. Our actions, the springs of our happiness or misery. Too much care, therefore, cannot be taken in forming our principles.338Humanity
Red SkeltonI consider the television set as the American fireplace, around which the whole family will gather.339Reflection
Red SkeltonI just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh. ✨ Red S… ▶3210DeathHumanityHumor
Red SkeltonI don't need glasses, but I've just reached the age where curiosity is greater than vanity.264Death
Red SkeltonIf by chance some day you're not feeling well and you should remember some silly thing I've said or done and it brings back a smile to your face or a chuckle to your heart, then m… ▶231Love
Red SkeltonOld age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.254Thought
Red SkeltonI asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said. So I suggested the kitchen.3110Time
Red SkeltonAny kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.234Time
Red SkeltonNo matter what your heartache may be, laughing helps you forget it for a few seconds.213HumorLove
Red SkeltonI won't mind dying if I can tell St. Peter a joke he hasn't heard.268DeathHumorThought
Red SkeltonExercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.2610Sadness
Red SkeltonWouldn't it be a pity if someone said that is a prayer and that would be eliminated from schools, too?161Humor
Red SkeltonMy doctor said I look like a million dollars - green and wrinkled.151Hope
Red SkeltonMom used to say I didn't run away from home my destiny just caught up with me at an early age.185Truth
Red SkeltonI personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.143Politics
Red SkeltonRecipe for a happy marriage: My wife and I always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.155Hope
Red SkeltonLive by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.135HumorLifeSadness
Red SkeltonI get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.169Reflection
Red SkeltonI'm nuts and I know it. But so long as I make 'em laugh, they ain't going to lock me up. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.imdb.com.148Humor
Red SkeltonCongress: Bingo with billions.139Truth
