Bill MaherWhen it comes to religion, we're not two sides of the same coin, and you don't get to put your unreason up on the same shelf with my reason. Your stuff has to go over there, on th… ▶371HumanityThoughtTime
Bill MaherRepublicans are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods took to marriage.371Philosophy
Bill MaherI have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.371Humanity
Bill MaherReligion is bad and drugs are good. ✨ Bill Maher's 'View': Church Going Old Ladies 'Enablers' to Religious Violence. www.newsbusters.org. April 16, … ▶361Death
Bill MaherDown in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant exploded, I returned abortions to back alleys where i… ▶372Thought
Bill MaherI don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be on television every minute of every day - you're the president, not a rerun of 'Law & Order'. TV stars are too … ▶361Politics
Bill MaherMarch Madnesss...the only place where you hear 'Kansas is advancing.'351Humanity
Bill MaherAt some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution. ✨ Bill Maher Enters the No Spin Zone. The O'Reilly Fact… ▶351Truth
Bill MaherBe out of the mainstream. I'm out of the mainstream. I enjoy it, who wants to be in the mainstream? ✨ Bill Maher: Victory Begins at Home. TV Special, July 19, 2003.362Time
Bill MaherThe answer isn't another pill. The answer is spinach. ✨ Want to Save the Economy? Change What You Eat by Kerry Trueman, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 17, 2011.374Truth
Bill MaherKids. They're not easy, but there has to be some penalty for having sex.353Thought
Bill MaherNew Rule: Gay marriage won't lead to dog marriage. It is not a slippery slope to rampant inter-species coupling. When women got the right to vote, it didn't lead to hamsters votin… ▶331Love
Bill MaherThis week Sarah Palin's memoir became a bestseller. It's not even out yet. It's being translated into English.342Thought
Bill MaherRepublicans stand by their convictions. Stupid, ignorant, world-destroying convictions based on disproven economic fantasies and ancient books full of primitive morality and magic… ▶375HumanityHumorReading
Bill MaherThe NYPD must stop acting like the only thing black people do is run from them and shoot at them. Believe it or not there are some black New Yorkers who won't run and can't shoot … ▶331Humanity
Bill MaherIraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pourin… ▶342Sadness
Bill MaherThe Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs. ✨ Bill Maher: Be More Cynical. Comedy, 2000.342Humor
Bill MaherFreedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republ… ▶353HumanityPoliticsTime
Bill MaherNew Rule: You're never going to pick up women at a coffee shop pretending to be working on your laptop. You don't look like you're sensitive, you look like you're homeless.The las… ▶375Humor
Bill MaherRick Santorum doesn't like sex. He doesn't like the pill. He really doesn't like condoms. He said if men are going to pull something on to prevent procreation, nothing works bette… ▶342Time
Bill MaherNow, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic.343Humor
Bill MaherStop saying athletes do it for the love of the game. They do it for the love of their 32-room mansion with the live shark tank in the living room. If pro sports paid minimum wage,… ▶376LifeLove
Bill MaherIdiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Athei… ▶376HumanityPolitics
Bill MaherWhich is why I'd like to tip off law enforcement to an even larger child-abusing religious cult. Its leader also has a compound, and this guy not only operates outside the bounds … ▶366DeathHumorPolitics
Bill MaherNowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and today—Benedict told them he was goi… ▶355Philosophy
Bill MaherI want you teabaggers out there to understand one thing: while you idolize the Founding Fathers and dress up like them, and smell like them, I think it's pretty clear that the Fou… ▶344DeathReadingThought
Bill MaherI would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.301Love
Bill MaherTo those people who say, 'My father is alive because of animal experimentation,' I say, 'Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.' Sorry, but I am just n… ▶378DeathHumanityLife
Bill MaherA flu shot just compromises your immune system. ✨ The Larry King Live Show, transcripts.cnn.com. December 15, 2005.356Time
Bill MaherNEW RULE: 'Kidiots' Leave the children behind. At least until they learn something. A new study has shown that half of American high schools agree that newspapers should only be a… ▶356HumanityPolitics
