My feet are completely flat, but for most of my life they were still shaped like feet. Now, thanks to bunions, they're shaped more like states, wide boring ones that nobody wants to drive through. β¨ The 50 Funniest American Writers: An Anthology of Humor from Mark Twain to The Onion. Book by Andy Borowitz, 2011.
More Author Quotes
- Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive. β¨ April & Paris by David Sedaris, www.newyorker.com. March 24, 2008.
- Of course, the diary helps me as well. 'That wasn't your position on July 7, 1991,' I'll remind Hugh an hour after we've had a fight. I'd have loved to rebut him sooner, but it takes awhile to look t β¦ βΆ
- If you read someone else's diary, you get what you deserve.
- Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.
- A week after my drugs ran out, I left my bed to perform at the college, deciding at the last minute to skip both the doughnut toss and the march of the headless plush toys. Instead, I just heated up β¦ βΆ
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