I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.
More Author Quotes
- I'm not Catholic, but I gave up picking my belly button for lint. β¨ Twitter post from Mar 31, 2010
- I pray a simple prayer every morning. It's an ecumenical prayer. Whether you're Catholic or Jewish or Muslim or Hindu, I think it speaks to the heart of every faith. It goes βLord please break the la β¦ βΆ
- I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.
- My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.
- I caught my wife in bed with another man and I was crushed. So I said, Get off of me, you two! β¨ 75 Funniest Jokes of All Time. GQ Magazine, June 1999.
Most Cited Authors
William Shakespeare2362
Cassandra Clare2086
Ralph Waldo Emerson2017
Paulo Coelho1839
Rajneesh1644
Sherrilyn Kenyon1633
Mark Twain1626
C. S. Lewis1624
Rick Riordan1549
Oscar Wilde1401
Albert Einstein1372
J. K. Rowling1274
Rumi1268
Friedrich Nietzsche1258
John Green1254
Swami Vivekananda1206
Thomas Jefferson1179
Richelle Mead1130
Barack Obama1115
Henry David Thoreau1086
Terry Pratchett1070
Stephen King1024
Mahatma Gandhi1019
Jodi Picoult1016
Neil Gaiman977
Haruki Murakami976
Laozi972
27
The Best Quotes
Most Liked Authors
William Shakespeare46.4k
Cassandra Clare40.9k
Ralph Waldo Emerson38.9k
Paulo Coelho35.9k
Rajneesh32k
Sherrilyn Kenyon31.8k
Mark Twain31.7k
C. S. Lewis31k
Rick Riordan30.4k
Oscar Wilde26.9k
Albert Einstein26.8k
J. K. Rowling24.6k
John Green24.5k
Friedrich Nietzsche24.4k
Rumi24.3k
Swami Vivekananda23.3k
Thomas Jefferson22.7k
Richelle Mead22.2k
Barack Obama21.6k
Terry Pratchett21k
Henry David Thoreau20.6k
Stephen King19.8k
Jodi Picoult19.8k
Mahatma Gandhi19.7k
Neil Gaiman19.2k
Laozi19.1k
Haruki Murakami19k
27