If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail. β¨ Stephen Colbert's monologue at the White House Correspondents Dinner, www.dailykos.com. April 30, 2006.
More Author Quotes
- I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.
- Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.
- Don't cry over spilled milk-- get angry and punch a cow.
- If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it. β¨ Stephen Colbert must be stopped!. edition.cnn.com. February 22, 2012.
- Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man a sub-prime fish loan and you're in business, buddy. β¨ The Colbert Report with Stephen Colbert, May 14, 2008.
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