It seems like we wake up and it's a race until you get to bed. It gets…

Steven Wright
291 citations
It seems like we wake up and it's a race until you get to bed. It gets to you after a while and you think, 'What the hell am I doing?'
Thought
22

More Author Quotes

So I got off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal... The wings are knocking people over.
If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
People may think I'm trying something new by telling stories, but they're just jokes connected to give the illusion of stories. But really, I just continue using my imagination and creating. That's w … ▶

Most Cited Authors

27

The Best Quotes

Most Liked Authors

27

Curated Author Quotes

82 Unforgettable 🦇 Batman Quotes