We cannot bear a pointless torment, but we can endure great pain if we…

Andrew Solomon
47 citations
We cannot bear a pointless torment, but we can endure great pain if we believe that it's purposeful. ✨ How the Worst Moments in Our Lives Make Us Who We Are. TED Talks, andrewsolomon.com. March 21, 2014.
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Fixing is the illness model; acceptance is the identity model; which way any family goes reflects their assumptions and resources. ✨ Andrew Solomon (2014). Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and th … ▶
Ease makes less of an impression on us than struggle. ✨ How Do Our Worst Moments Shape Us?. TED Radio Hour with Guy Raz, www.npr.org. August 01, 2014.
I don't accept subtractive models of love, only additive ones. And I believe that in the same way we need species diversity to ensure that the planet can go on, so we need this diversity of affection … ▶
You need to take the traumas and make them part of who you've come to be, and you need to fold the worst events of your life into a narrative of triumph, evincing a better self in response to things … ▶
When you banish the dragons you banish the heroes. ✨ Andrew Solomon (2014). Far From the Tree: Parents, Children and the Search for Identity, p.46, Simon and Schuster

We cannot bear a pointless torment, but we can endure great pain if we believe that it's purposeful. ✨ How the Worst Moments in Our Lives Make Us Who We Are. TED Talks, andrewsolomon.com. March 21, 2014.

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