People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do m…

George Carlin
484 citations
People love to admit they have bad handwriting or that they can't do math. And they will readily admit to being awkward: 'I'm such a klutz!' But they will never admit to having a poor sense of humor or being a bad driver. ✨ George Carlin (2015). 3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?, p.191, Hachette UK
Humanity Humor Love
21

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Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established. ✨ George Carlin (2002). Napalm & Silly Putty, … ▶
Israeli murderers are called commandos, Arab commandos are called terrorists. ✨ George Carlin (2002). Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion
Looking back, I realize that my life has been a series of incidents where one person has said to another, Get this asshole outta here! ✨ George Carlin (2002). Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion
When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was. ✨ George Carlin ( … ▶

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