I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to pla…

Woody Allen
334 citations
I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.
Humor
18

More Author Quotes

[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot … ▶
As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. ✨ Woody Allen (2007). The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose, Random House Incorpor … ▶
Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired.
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole?

I was the captain of the latent paranoid softball team. We used to play all the neurotics on sunday morning. Nailbiters against the bedwetters, and if you've never seen neurotics play softball, it's really funny. I used to steal second base, and feel guilty and go back.

More Author Quotes

Most Cited Authors

The Best Quotes

Most Liked Authors

Curated Author Quotes