If I had been helping the Almighty when he created man, I would have h…

Mark Twain
1626 citations
If I had been helping the Almighty when he created man, I would have had him begin at the other end, and start human beings with old age. How much better to start old and have all the bitterness and blindness of age in the beginning! ✨ Mark Twain (2012). Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations, p.154, Courier Corporation
Humanity Reading
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity. ✨ Mark Twain (1960). Mark Twain and the Government
The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills … ▶
Sacred cows make the best hamburger. ✨ Mark Twain (2014). Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist, p.30, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.
What is human life? The first third a good time; the rest remembering about it. ✨ Mark Twain (2012). Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations, p.238, Courier Corporation
The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike; a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sa … ▶

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