Zach BraffYou don't need an alarm clock when you sleep with 20 models a night, one of those broads'll figure out that they better make breakfast in bed or I'll kill all of them.371Thought
Zach BraffYeah i saw An Inconvenient Truth, and i dont want to say it was preachy but let's not kid ourselves, i've got far more important work to do372Truth
Zach BraffI'm not gay, but I'm still the kind of guy where, even though you have no chance, they still want to hang around me so you can get a good mental image and jerk off to me later.372Humor
Zach BraffI never go looking for child pornography, but I mean, if somebody sends me an email with some pictures, I'm not going to turn around and report them.361Time
Zach BraffIt's just Gods way of getting babies to heaven faster!351Love
Zach BraffI once looked in the mirror at myself and noticed that, without a doubt, I am a sexy man. In fact, I don't think I'll ever get married...it just wouldn't be fair for my spouse to … ▶373ThoughtTruth
Zach BraffMy job as an actor has inspired generations of children to become doctors. My job as a writer has opened up the minds of millions. My job as a director has produced masterpieces t… ▶373Thought
Zach BraffEveryday I question myself. I look in the mirror, or read one of my scripts, or I reflect on my acting and I say to myself 'that was good...but was it Zach Braff good?' Lets just … ▶351ReadingReflection
Zach BraffI know the Bible isn't real because it never once mentions me.373Hope
Zach BraffI love signing autographs! Sometimes, when people ask me for one, I keep the photo for myself and frame it. It's a Win-Win situation really; I get an extra 25 dollars in my pocket… ▶362HumanityLoveTime
Zach BraffI'm grown ass man and grown ass men can do whatever they want, got it?363Sadness
Zach BraffI mean, what's eleven million people now days?352Humanity
Zach BraffIt's not that I think the Nazis were right, or anything. It's just that, we weren't there, we don't know.374Thought
Zach BraffI'm sick of people saying I hate blacks, women, and gays. It's false and slanderous. Everyone who knows me knows I hate the Chinese.353Humanity
Zach BraffIn April 1975 I was born and the Vietnam War ended. I could not let any American die in war before seeing an episode of Scrubs.364Death
Zach BraffPeople keep asking me whether I'm going to vote for Obama or McCain in the election. But I'm like, why bother? There will never be another leader as good as he was.342Humanity
Zach BraffHitler was about population control.342Humor
Zach BraffI'm always being told by directors that I add chemistry to scenes, so I mean how difficult could it be?343Life
Zach BraffI'm not lazy, I drive everywhere myself, the dog could've learned something from me.321Time
Zach BraffI'd like to think that my scripts are more significant than maybe the Bible or the book that the Jews use, whatever it's called. And that's only when I'm having an off day.354ReadingThought
Zach BraffSometimes, I go to Barnes & Noble with the sole intention of moving all copies of the bible to the fiction section.332Time
Zach BraffI don't have anything against this Jesus guy, but has he written, directed, and starred in his own movie?376Death
Zach BraffAm I really gonna deny someone the opportunity of a lifetime just because they met me 5 easters early?376LifeTime
Zach BraffYea, I've got a dream too. It involves time-travel and a rifle.354Time
Zach BraffIn New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.333Sadness
Zach BraffI really don't give a care, I'm going to live for ever344Hope
Zach BraffIt's a good thing I'm a professional and could see the pure genius talent behind the raw sexual beauty.366Politics
Zach BraffI blame Walt Disney; well he has to find voice actors better than me somehow doesn't he?355Humanity
Zach BraffHave I ever had sex with a hooker? I'd like to answer that question with a question of my own. Can just anyone look up police records?344Love
Zach BraffWhen you were a kid and the circus came to town it was awesome to see these little creatures, but these things go out of fashion, like polyester blazers with rolled up sleeves. We… ▶333Humanity
