Tom LehrerIf I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here372Humanity
Tom LehrerYou can make fun with Saddam Hussein jokes ... but you can't make fun of, say, the concentration camps. I think my target was not so much evil, but benign stupidity people doing s… ▶374HumanityHumorSadness
Tom LehrerI wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.331Humanity
Tom LehrerWell, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer. ✨ Song: New Math, Album: That Was the Year That Was355Sadness
Tom LehrerBe careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. ✨ Song: Be Prepared312Thought
Tom LehrerNo one is more dangerous than someone who thinks he has The Truth. To be an atheist is almost as arrogant as to be a fundamentalist. But then again, I can get pretty arrogant. 347ReflectionThoughtTruth
Tom LehrerI wasn't really a performer by temperament.303Humor
Tom LehrerIt is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. ✨ That Was the Year That Was (record album) (1965)336DeathThought
Tom LehrerApart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?281Reading
Tom LehrerIn one word he told me the secret of success in mathematics: plagiarize; only be sure always to call it . . . research.284Time
Tom LehrerBut in the new (math) approach, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer.262Philosophy
Tom LehrerDisclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it.3410Politics
Tom LehrerThe Army has carried the American... ideal to its logical conclusion... Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on the grounds o… ▶263DeathThought
Tom LehrerSome of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way.286Politics
Tom LehrerOn my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.253Thought
Tom LehrerI feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.3110Love
Tom LehrerLife is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.287Life
Tom LehrerPolitical satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.imdb.com.222Politics
Tom LehrerIn my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.' ✨ Quoted in Wash. Post, 3 Jan. 1982245Humor
Tom LehrerBad weather always looks worse through a window.267Death
Tom LehrerOnce the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department. ✨ Song: 'Wernher von Braun'. 1965.213Truth
Tom LehrerOnce all the Germans were warlike and mean But that couldn't happen again We taught them a lesson in nineteen eighteen And they've hardly bothered us since then ✨ Song: Mlf … ▶268Hope
Tom LehrerIf, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.269HumanityLove
Tom LehrerOh, the Protestants hate the Catholics/ And the Catholics hate the Protestants/ And the Hindus hate the Muslims/ And everybody hates the Jews. ✨ Song: National Brotherhood W… ▶2710Death
Tom LehrerSoon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife. Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life. But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways, We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden … ▶134HopeLifeLove
Tom LehrerBase eight is just like base ten really, if you're missing two fingers. ✨ Song: New Math, Album: That Was the Year That Was136Love
Tom LehrerI know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!1510HumanityLove
