Tim AllenDad needs to show an incredible amount of respect and humor and friendship toward his mate so the kids understand their parents are sexy, they're fun, they do things together, the… ▶371Humor
Tim AllenBeing wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink. ✨ “Tim Allen: What I've Learned” by Cal Fussman, www.esquire.com. O… ▶372Death
Tim AllenIn marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.imdb.com.362Reflection
Tim AllenPlaying golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.365Politics
Tim AllenWomen now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had:… ▶301Truth
Tim AllenCan we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?302Truth
Tim AllenThe big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas - where it's a beautiful theater - is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cue… ▶379Philosophy
Tim AllenThe world's a mean place. It's unfair, then it's fair. It's hateful, then it's loving. It's a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels. ✨ B… ▶379Philosophy
Tim AllenI was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It's not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I'll do it … ▶271LoveTime
Tim AllenMen are pigs. Too bad we own everything. ✨ It's a Man's World: 800 Jokes from the Guy's (Warped) Point of View. Book by Judy Brown, 2005.271HumorReading
Tim AllenYou don't know what people are really like until they're under a lot of stress. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.imdb.com.326Humanity
Tim AllenI used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that's a good thing.265Life
Tim AllenMen often do things for women that they don't want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don't want to do.233Thought
Tim AllenNever comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end'. Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.imdb… ▶277Humor
Tim AllenWhile awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. ww… ▶2910Humor
Tim AllenI love doing logos. I've been a graphic artist all my life. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.imdb.com.257LifeLove
Tim AllenI have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.268Humanity
Tim AllenKids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they're going to respect Mom. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.imdb.com.225Reading
Tim AllenThere is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.236Humor
Tim AllenA guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.215Love
Tim AllenIn the last three years of racing I've met as many women fans as men fans, and in NASCAR it's the same thing. My wife loves cars, but the difference is she doesn't have 20 years o… ▶2610Love
Tim AllenMen are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive. ✨ Land Your Dream Job: High-Performance Techniques to Get No… ▶227Reading
Tim AllenAll men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.2410Thought
Tim AllenNothing's as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes. www.i… ▶195Humor
Tim AllenWomen are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.228Time
Tim AllenPere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. Topo Gigio ✨ Tell Me More with Celeste Headlee, wclk.com. December 26, 2012.175Reading
Tim AllenElectricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.187Humanity
Tim AllenJill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.1810HumanityLife
Tim AllenBefore Kady was born, I didn't think having a kid would be such a big deal. My attitude was simple: Babies are nice, play with them, put them in the closet until the next time. 148ThoughtTime
Tim AllenI don't understand why it has to be either - or - either socialism or democracy. Why can't we combine things to get the best of each system? ✨ Biography / Personal Quotes. w… ▶159Time
