Evan EsarDivorce is the key that opens the strongbox where the bonds of matrimony are kept under wedlock.362Time
Evan EsarThe computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.373Life
Evan EsarDivorce is the price people play for playing with matches.375Humanity
Evan EsarA special skill, like speaking several languages, or keeping your mouth shut in one.343Hope
Evan EsarGood teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.343Philosophy
Evan EsarA smart mother suggests that her child bring an apple to his teacher; a smarter mother suggests that he bring a couple of aspirins.311Death
Evan EsarThe lecturer who is full of his subject is usually very slow in emptying himself.301Reading
Evan EsarChildren grow out of childhood, but parents never grow out of parenthood. ✨ Evan Esar (1978). The Comic Encyclopedia: A Library of the Literature and History of Humor Contai… ▶378HumorReading
Evan EsarBureaucracy is more people doing less things, and taking more time to do them worse.301HumanityTime
Evan EsarEtymology: from Latin ad-, to + visum, past participle of videre, to see. Advice is what you get from your parents when you are growing up, and from your children when you are gro… ▶281Time
Evan EsarDefinition of a Statistician: A man who believes figures don't lie, but admits than under analysis some of them won't stand up either.3710Truth
Evan EsarWe can't do much about the length of our lives, but we can do plenty about it's width and depth.292Sadness
Evan EsarEgotist: 1. A person who is his own best friend. 2. An I specialist. 3. A man whose opinions all change, except the one he has of himself.303Death
Evan EsarFamily: A social unit where the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.359Life
Evan EsarA signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.293Time
Evan EsarYou are not fully dressed until you wear a smile.348Hope
Evan EsarExperience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.261LifeTime
Evan EsarSome women get divorces on the grounds of incompatibility; others, on just the first two syllables. ✨ Evan Esar (1961). Humorous English: a guide to comic usage, jocular spe… ▶272Humor
Evan EsarSuccess is the good fortune that comes from aspiration, desperation, perspiration,and inspiration. ✨ Evan Esar (1961). Humorous English: a guide to comic usage, jocular spee… ▶349Humor
Evan EsarAmerica believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week.317Truth
Evan EsarThe best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about.339Time
Evan EsarThe secret of successful writing lies in striking the right keys on the typewriter.251Hope
Evan EsarLife is a game played on us while we are playing other games.3410Life
Evan EsarWalking isn't a lost art: one must, by some means, get to the garage.285Philosophy
Evan EsarAdmiration: Our feeling of delight that another person resembles us.307Life
Evan EsarIt takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together, but it takes only one of them to scatter it all over the highway.274Truth
Evan EsarA lecturer often makes you feel dumb at one end and numb at the other.242Reflection
Evan EsarAnger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.275Thought
Evan EsarNothing ages your car as much as the sight of your neighbor's new one.231Humor
Evan EsarHousework is what a woman does that nobody notices unless she hasn't done it.3110Death
