Bill BaileyWithout the beat in the background, Jazz basically sounds like an armadillo was let loose on the keyboard. ✨ Tinselworm. World Tour, 2008.371Philosophy
Bill BaileyI would never condone the burning of a Dan Brown novel, much though I loathe and detest his work. Well, I say work, you know, words, randomly arranged to form millions of dollars.… ▶331ReadingThought
Bill BaileyHitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. ✨ Bill Bailey: Part Troll. Documentary, Comed… ▶323Humor
Bill BaileyMarijuana? It's harmless really, unless you fashion it into a club and beat somebody over the head with it ✨ Bewilderness in New York. Audio CD Album by Bill Bailey, March 2… ▶347Love
Bill BaileyI got ham but I'm not a Hamster ✨ Bill Bailey: Tinselworm. Documentary, Comedy, 2008.369Humor
Bill BaileyThree blokes go into a pub. Something happens. The outcome was hilarious! ✨ Is It Bill Bailey? (Episode 1). Stand up / sketch comedy series by Bill Bailey, February 20, 1998… ▶262Humor
Bill BaileyI'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig. ✨ Cosmic Jam. Bill Bailey's live at London's Bloomsbury Theatre, 1995.306Time
Bill BaileyCome to Belarus, where wild animals will steal your fruit ✨ Bill Bailey: Tinselworm. Documentary, Comedy, 2008.306Humor
Bill BaileyThere's more evil in the charts than an Al-Qaeda suggestion box. ✨ Bill Bailey: Part Troll. Documentary, Comedy, Music, 2004.252Humor
Bill BaileyThree blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability. ✨ Part Troll. Documentary, Comedy, 2004.3010Humor
Bill BaileyAdd a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.235Humor
Bill BaileyJoke number 1, I have a bit of a problem with jokes, bit of a handicap for a comedian obviously, um, I tend to bail out of the joke, I lose commitment in it, I'll give you an exam… ▶246Humor
Bill BaileyWhat I'd like to do now - well, what I'd like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp. ✨ Cosmic Jam. Bill Bailey's live at… ▶213Philosophy
Bill BaileyThree blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative. ✨ Bill Bailey: Part Troll, 2004.259Time
Bill BaileyI'm English and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. ✨ Bill Bailey: Bewilderness, www.imdb.com. 2001.259Humor
Bill BaileyI'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. That's why I buy Kinder Surprise. Horrible chocolate; nasty little toy: a double-whammy of disillusionment! Sometimes I eat the to… ▶249HumorTime
Bill BaileyThe BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die. ✨ Bill Bailey: Part Troll. Documentary, Comedy, Music, www.imdb.co… ▶227DeathHumorLife
Bill BaileyAmerican rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it. ✨ Bill Bailey: Part Troll. Documentary, Comedy, Music, www.imdb.com. 2004.206Humor
Bill BaileyThree women walk into a pub and say, `Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format'207Humor
Bill BaileyI'm sort of like a post-modern vegetarian; I eat meat ironically. ✨ Bill Bailey: Part Troll. Documentary, Comedy, Music, 2004.174Humor
Bill BaileyIt's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still. ✨ Bewilderness in New York. Comedy album by Bill Bailey, 2002.186Humor
Bill BaileyContentment is knowing you're right. Happiness is knowing someone else is wrong.2110Love
