Alan KingI won't eat in a place that has suits of armor.364Reflection
Alan KingMy son says I never tell stories about anyone who's living.365Life
Alan KingI made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.343Life
Alan KingI don't mind being 65, but nobody is gonna tell me to come in at 5:30 to have the early bird special.321Thought
Alan KingMy father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'3710Humanity
Alan KingThe world is full of little dictators trying to run your life.348Life
Alan KingI just never saw my mother in any other room but the kitchen. There were always pots going.304Hope
Alan KingWhen I was in the hospital they gave me apple juice every morning, even after I told them I didn't like it. I had to get even. One morning, I poured the apple juice into the speci… ▶315Reflection
Alan KingEd Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.349Reflection
Alan KingA summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!3510Life
Alan KingMarriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.252Life
Alan KingThe ability to absorb a book and make someone else's words and story your own was exactly was I was doing on stage.319Reading
Alan KingLet's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.231Humor
Alan KingIf you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.3210HumorThought
Alan KingMilton took vaudeville, which, if you look up 'vaudeville' in the dictionary, right alongside of it, it says 'Milton Berle' - and he made it just a tremendous party.232Philosophy
Alan KingIt's not easy being a father, but I've been allowed a comeback.244Time
Alan KingEverything my mother made had to cook for 80 hours, and when she made matzoh balls she didn't know fluffy. Everything sank.3010Reading
Alan KingI think one of the big things about comedy is the ability for the audience to identify.235DeathHumorThought
Alan KingComedy is a reflection. We create nothing. We set no styles, no standards. We're reflections. It's a distorted mirror in the fun house. We watch society. As society behaves, then … ▶203HumanityHumorReflection
Alan KingThat's the great thing about New Year's, you get to be a year older. For me, that wasn't such a joke, because my birthday was always around this time. When I was a kid, my father … ▶249HumorTime
Alan KingI was a high school throw-out.229Hope
Alan KingI had a sympathetic role in 'thirtysomething,' and in two weeks I'm going to do the role again. But in the movies, I just love the heavies. It's much more fun. Villains are a ball… ▶197HumanityHumorLove
Alan KingIf you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.175LoveReading
Alan KingModesty is not one of my virtues. ✨ Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.165Reflection
Alan KingOne thing I've never said in my whole life is, 'Let's have dinner at a Japanese restaurant.'177Life
Alan KingMy mother kept the house clean and we ate good. I didn't know we were poor until I started giving interviews.155Humanity
Alan KingAnd humor has always been a weapon. You want to get even on somebody? You want to attack somebody? Make fun of them.133Humor
Alan KingWhen I read Dickens for the first time, I thought he was Jewish, because he wrote about oppression and bigotry, all the things that my father talked about.147ReadingThoughtTime
Alan KingMy brother is the youngest member of the College of Physicians and Surgeons. And I wouldn't let him cut my nails. ✨ Alan King, Chris Chase (1997). Name Dropping, p.59, Simon… ▶137Sadness
Alan KingI'm only... I'm only unhappy when the reviews are bad, but give me a good review and I'm a... I'm just screaming all over the place with joy.137Life
