Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud snort noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time.
More Author Quotes
- Journalists are notoriously easy to kid. All you have to do is speak to a journalist in a very serious tone of voice, and he will be certain that you are either telling the truth or a big, important β¦ βΆ
- Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class.
- They don't like anyone who isn't Korean, and they don't like each other all that much, either. They're hardheaded, hard-drinking, tough little bastards, 'the Irish of Asia'. β¨ P.J. O'Rourke (2012). H β¦ βΆ
- Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. β¨ P. J. O'Rourke (2007). Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government β¦ βΆ
- After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
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