The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't expres…

Marshall B. Rosenberg
190 citations
The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.
Sadness
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The best way I can get understanding from another person is to give this person the understanding, too. If I want them to hear my needs and feelings, I first need to empathize.
We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.
Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
Have you ever been surfing? Imagine you're on your surfboard now, waiting for the big one to come. Get ready to get carried with that energy. Now, here it comes. That's empathy. No words - just being … ▶

The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.

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