Sometimes we have to put our foot down, ... but before we deliberately…

Alfie Kohn
41 citations
Sometimes we have to put our foot down, ... but before we deliberately make children unhappy in order to get them to get into the car, or to do their homework or whatever, we need to weigh whether what we're doing to make it happen is worth the possible strain on our relationship with them.
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Punishment and reward proceed from basically the same psychological model, one that conceives of motivation as nothing more than the manipulation of behavior. ✨ Alfie Kohn (1999). Punished by Rewards … ▶
To be well-educated is to have the desire as well as the means to make sure that learning never ends. ✨ Alfie Kohn (2004). What Does It Mean to Be Well Educated?: And More Essays on Standards, Gradin … ▶
If a child is off-task...mayb e the problem is not the child...maybe it's the task.
How can we do our best when we are spending our energies trying to make others lose - and fearing that they will make us lose? ✨ Alfie Kohn (2013). No Contest: The Case Against Competition, p.19, Hou … ▶
When we do things that are controlling, whether intentional or not, we are not going to get those long-term outcomes.

Sometimes we have to put our foot down, ... but before we deliberately make children unhappy in order to get them to get into the car, or to do their homework or whatever, we need to weigh whether what we're doing to make it happen is worth the possible strain on our relationship with them.

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